


Friends and Lovers

by Andromakhe



Series: Fated Attraction [2]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bickering, F/M, Goodbyes, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Teamwork, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5261777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromakhe/pseuds/Andromakhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A more interactive version of my fic "Silver Linings," set at the end of the episode "Revenge." Obi-Wan and Asajj get tantalizing glimpses of what cannot be. It's made worse by the fact they have themselves to blame. But true to form, they make the best of it. Inspired by Gloria Estefan's "Wrapped" and Little River Band's "Lady."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Weaknesses and Wants

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, this is shameless Kentress indulgence (read, fluff). As such, they are blatantly OOC in some places. However, this fic also turned out rather depressing, which wasn’t actually planned.
> 
> I got this idea because I thought I read somewhere that Filoni said they probably had an awkward flight back to the Republic and stopped off for coffee. I thought the idea was cute so I ran with it. It can be considered an alternative and/or companion to "Silver Linings." I don't know how any Kentress shipper can resist the bait of the shared escape pod at the end of "Revenge." I sort of fudged the way the pod works for creative purposes.

Obi-Wan and Asajj sat in an awkward silence as the Jedi made calculations to jump to hyperspace. Their escape from Maul and Savage had been much too close for comfort, for both of them, and Obi-Wan had the added humiliation of knowing he had been arrogant and impulsive. Mace had been right; he should have gone with backup. His heart had clouded his judgment. Vengeance wasn’t the Jedi way, but even so, he couldn’t quite blame himself for wanting it, only allowing it to dictate his behavior. "We’re about ready to make the jump," Obi-Wan warned tersely. "in three, two, one…"

Obi-Wan’s stomach lurched at the sudden increase in speed, and he grimaced. He thought that was the worst part about flying. Either that, or flying with Anakin, in which case he was always somewhat afraid it’d be his last.

"I appreciated the warning," Ventress replied. "But you’re not looking well. Do you just dislike that part of flying, or do you think you’re going to be sick?"

Obi-Wan’s laughter was a hiss of air through his nose and a quick twitch of his lips. "I’m fine, darling," he said dryly, "but thank you for asking. Not to worry. The unpleasantness has passed."

"That’s a relief," Asajj drawled, grimacing herself. "The smell would have been awful."

Obi-Wan shook his head, frowning, but made no comment. Instead, he set a course for Coruscant and then reclined in his seat, shutting his eyes. He was so tired now that the danger had passed.

Seeing this vulnerability, Asajj was surprised at the tenderness she felt. She wanted to touch him, hold him, kiss him. She was disgusted with herself, but the desires wouldn’t leave her alone. She was certain many other females lusted after him as well, and if he weren’t a Jedi, she was sure he would be one of those that had a wife or was otherwise unavailable. She hated him and herself for falling into this trap. She’d told herself she’d belong to no man, that no one but Ky was really worth caring about, and the worst thing about this situation was that she knew Obi-Wan wasn’t doing it on purpose and as much as said she wasn’t his type. It didn’t help that Kenobi reminded her of Ky in some ways. Sighing in frustration, she gripped his shoulder and shook him roughly back to awareness.

Obi-Wan blinked, looking annoyed. "Yes?" he muttered shortly.

"Move," she growled. "If you’re going to sleep, I should fly."

Obi-Wan looked confused. "It’s on autopilot," he murmured wearily.

"Are you sure?" Asajj returned testily.

Obi-Wan sighed in frustration and stretched, but winced and hissed in pain. Shrugging it off, he checked the computer. "Yes. Now can I go back to sleep? It’s not like this needs to be watched."

"I saw that, Kenobi. Heard it, too. You haven’t dealt with your injuries."

Obi-Wan shrugged again. "I’ll have them seen to when I get home. I promise." His tone was gentler this time, though still somewhat clipped.

"Get up and remove your armor. I’ll see what I make of them." Her command was threatening, but Obi-Wan sensed something very different in the Force.

"I…don’t think it’s really necessary," he hedged.

"You could have internal bleeding," Asajj snarled. "Don’t pretend you don’t know this."

Obi-Wan looked defeated. He couldn’t argue that point. Great, another reason to be humiliated. First found unconscious, then failing the mission and being bested by Maul, and now beaten in a verbal exchange. This was so not his day. He actually wanted to kick or hit something. Looking at the floor, he grudgingly obeyed, setting the armor and his lightsaber under his seat. Asajj noted that he moved gingerly. No, she would not show her compassion.

"Not keeping the lightsaber with you?" she queried almost mockingly.

"I don’t need it now. Remind me when we disembark," he rejoined confidently, his tone a command of his own.

"You’re on your own, Jedi. Don’t expect obedience from me. I’m not a Padawan." She deliberately laid her sabers next to his. Obi-Wan noted this with interest, but kept quiet.

Obi-Wan sat back down, now only in a tunic and trousers, and stared at Asajj. "Which is too bad."

"I’m sure that’s just your opinion. Your people probably want me dead, given I killed them." 

"I cannot deny that," Obi-Wan nodded. "But if you could be turned to the Light, I think you would be an asset to the Order."

"I think Dooku thought that about you. We agreed that Skywalker wasn’t Jedi material and that if you could be persuaded to become a Sith, what an accomplishment you’d be. He was a cruel Master but sometimes, we had our moments."

Obi-Wan was thoughtful as Asajj knelt in front of him and began running her hands over his neck and torso systematically. He leaned back again and his eyes slowly shut, almost unconsciously. The Force moving through him and over his skin, in combination with Asajj’s caresses, felt very nice. Wait…Caresses? She was indeed checking his condition, but there was definitely desire mixed in. What worried Obi-Wan the most was that he didn’t want her to stop. She made it to his abdomen and he opened his eyes and gently closed his fingers around her wrists. "Wait, darling," he murmured huskily, "you need to stop."

"Why?" Asajj challenged. "You’re enjoying it. I can feel it."

"That’s why," he said in a more normal voice.

"What? You’re enjoying it so you want me to stop? I should have expected that. Only you would have that logic."

Obi-Wan actually chuckled. "It does sound ridiculous when you put it like that. But I can’t let it continue. It’s wrong."

"It’s natural," Ventress countered.

"Anger and fear are natural, too, and those lead to the Dark Side."

"Kenobi, don’t be so melodramatic. Desire is not synonymous with the Dark Side."

"Isn’t it? Don’t people often kill because of desire or credits?"

"Greed or possessiveness, yes," Asajj conceded. "But somehow, I don’t think you are susceptible to either influence. So I don’t see what the problem is."

"I’m a Jedi," Obi-Wan answered, as though that explained everything.

Asajj sighed. "So? I’m not. It isn’t like you’re duty-bound to report this."

"True." Obi-Wan began checking himself over. He found no internal bleeding but did find a few fractured lower ribs. "Still, I cannot commit to you."

"I’m not asking for that. I just want contact, a mutual sharing of pleasure. We may never get this kind of opportunity again." She gestured around their escape pod, and then indicated the outside.

Obi-Wan looked conflicted. He looked away from Asajj and out the viewscreen. "I still can’t. If I’m enjoying it, then it’s selfish. And long ago, I chose the Order and a life of service. I chose a career over romance, and it’s my belief the two cannot mix."

"But I just told you, Kenobi. You aren’t obligated in any way to me, and won’t be if you acquiesce to my wishes."

Obi-Wan looked back at Asajj. "Forgive me if I am skeptical, Ventress. But there’s always an expectation of compensation. You may say I owe you nothing, but then find you are angry when I give you nothing. People don’t like to feel shortchanged."

Asajj scowled in anger. "You dare to tell me how I feel? You think I don’t know what I mean? I know all about being cheated and used. I know your position does not allow you to stay with me or give me any promises. It is because I am aware of this that I expect nothing."

Obi-Wan looked like he wanted to throttle Asajj but also like he wanted to hold her close and love her. Asajj would have laughed, but found she was saddened by her own admission. She was so desperate for affection, she’d take it without any payment. Her only consolation was that she wanted Kenobi, which proved she was still as ambitious as ever. 

Obi-Wan, meanwhile, pitied Asajj. How could she have gone through life with so little love? She deserved so much better. Why couldn’t others see her Light? 

But he thought of Satine and didn’t know what to do. Leaving her on Mandalore had been heartbreaking and difficult. But he’d been a Jedi for much longer than he’d been in love, and he’d been just as honest with her as he was being with Asajj. Satine had allowed him to leave, had never pressured him to choose, but the next time he saw her, she’d been frosty and angry. To do as Asajj asked would be disloyal to Satine. But his logical self said he’d made no promise to Satine, that they were both technically free to choose other people, and he had to admit he loved Asajj’s passion and no-nonsense realism. The fact he and Asajj knew the joy of a good spar helped, too. He liked Satine’s idealism, she was beautiful, and she was classy. But after his brush with death, he began to question whether a woman with no combat ability was really right for him. Satine would likely not have known how to wake him from unconsciousness, let alone fend off both Maul and Savage, even if only for a few seconds. And he might have been willing to sacrifice his career for her, but he now knew he would have been very unhappy if he’d actually done that. With Asajj, he was not expected to give it up and he suspected she would not wish him to. Not really. Asajj understood the realities of war and the work of a Jedi in ways Satine didn’t, and though Asajj was blunt and sometimes harsh, she was also honest and resourceful and reasonable. But the thing was that if he was going to do as she asked, then she deserved that it be done for the right reason, and that meant love and not pity. He spoke gently, kindly. "Asajj, please look at me. Meet my eyes."

Asajj did so.

"Answer me truly. If I do as you ask, and this is the last time we ever see each other or have this kind of chance, would the memory cause you pain?"

Asajj thought it over. "Yes, it would, but I would not regret it. It would be better than remembering that I let the chance pass."

Obi-Wan gave a curt nod and came to a realization. He’d loved Satine and even lusted after her, but he was a very different person at that time. The sentiment associated with her now was fueled by memories of his time as a Padawan. The reality of their present relationship was one in which he felt alone and misunderstood. Sure, he disagreed with Asajj and even felt misunderstood at times, but the difference was that they could communicate rationally and come to a resolution. If he were being really honest, his recent alliance with Ventress had been exhilarating, intuitive, and even amicable after a fashion. He was reminded of Qui-Gon and Anakin. Now decided, he gently wrapped an arm around Asajj’s shoulders and pulled her close, placing a tender kiss on her lips.

Asajj smiled at him and knelt in front of his seat, hands roaming his abdomen and waist and resuming her work with the Force. She found the injured ribs and clicked her tongue grimly, then explored his back thoroughly. Getting on the edge of his seat, she massaged his shoulders rhythmically and he moaned in contentment as he wrapped an arm around her waist and hesitantly touched her butt. Asajj gave a throaty, sexy laugh, one he’d never heard before, as she purred, "I didn’t know you had it in you. I’m impressed."

Obi-Wan grinned as he kneaded Asajj’s buttocks in time with her rhythm and then lifted a hand to stroke her cheek lovingly. "Are you injured? Did you need help? I neglected to ask."

"I’m all right, my dear," she crooned kindly. "Good of you to care, but my injuries are nothing unusual or overly serious. You know this, which is why you neglected to ask."

"I wasn’t certain," he whispered, and took possession of her mouth again, this time more deeply and demanding. Happy to oblige, she slid her tongue against his, her arms on either side of his neck to steady herself. He slid a hand between their bodies and kneaded and caressed her breasts, running his thumb over the nipples and hearing her breath hitch as she twitched in pleasure.

Asajj was stroking his face and carefully healing it. He lay back with a quiet sigh and his eyes closed again. Asajj kissed his brow, his cheeks, his lips. He smiled drowsily and whispered, "I love you."

Asajj’s eyes widened in surprise and she gasped, her heart giving an unexpected leap. She dared not ask if she heard right. But then he was mostly asleep. Perhaps he didn’t know what he was saying.

"You doubt me," he whispered. "That hurts."

"I’m sorry, dearest," she murmured in return, "but love is a difficult thing for me to trust. I have every confidence in you, but love has rarely been true. If it has, it has not stayed long."

Asajj felt Obi-Wan’s grief at that. "I am dependable, darling," he assured, his eyes opening.

"I know, my dear. But your heart is given to the Jedi. Would you give them up?"

"I would lose much if I did so, and though I loved you, it would not be enough to sustain me. I’m too ambitious, too goal-oriented, to be satisfied with nothing to achieve."

Though a little disappointed, Asajj wasn’t really surprised by the answer, and found that even she would not give her entire life to him if asked. She would give her life for him, but not to him. "It’s fine," she finally answered, "I could not give up my livelihood for you, either. If you committed to me, would it be reasonable to expect loyalty?"

"Certainly, but only for as long as said commitment is in force. It is reasonable to expect a deal to be honored; it is unreasonable to expect it to last forever."

"Agreed," Asajj nodded in satisfaction. She got up and took her seat again, taking his hand in hers and touching his palm to her cheek briefly. "Sleep. I’ll leave you alone."

Obi-Wan chuckled and positioned Asajj’s arm behind his waist, falling into a healing trance, which he felt Asajj strengthening with her own power. His last thought before losing consciousness was that he’d be happy to have more moments like this. This, ironically, was what being a Jedi was all about.


	2. Pleasure and Pain

Asajj shook Obi-Wan’s shoulder gently, but he didn’t respond. Rather than get annoyed, she touched his signature and probed a few times. She felt it rouse to semi-consciousness and assess threat. Clearly finding none, it relaxed again. Asajj found that she was actually happy about this. She laughed softly and felt Obi-Wan’s signature respond with its own joy. She stroked his jaw and his neck until his eyes fluttered and he sat up carefully. She saw him stifle a yawn, probably because of his ribs, and rub his eyes, and then turn to look directly at her. "What can I do for you?" he queried, offering a genuine smile.

"You could kiss me," she suggested hopefully.

He grinned, and Asajj noted the lovely blush on his cheeks. She lay the back of her hand against one of them, savoring its warmth, as he leaned close to her and kissed her with all the depth of love in his heart. Asajj was momentarily stunned by the strength of his emotion, but then returned the kiss with gratitude and compassion. Obi-Wan blinked against tears of happiness, though they didn’t make it out of his eyes. Asajj pulled back and shook her head, patting his arm comfortingly.

"Sorry to wake you, darling, but I wondered if you go for caffe. If not, I’m sure they sell tea, too. If we’re never getting this chance again, I thought we ought to share a meal, or at least drinks. But I’m aware your injuries should be seen to as soon as possible as well, so it’s your call."

"Hmmm?" Obi-Wan murmured and turned to look at the computer. It turned out Asajj had rerouted it to Tatooine. Obi-Wan looked at Asajj in disbelief. "Um…You do realize this is sort of out of my way? I’m not really annoyed so much as…confused. Unless you have chosen this place for anonymity’s sake?"

"Yes, partly. But they also have a surprisingly cozy cafe with some of the best caffe I’ve had. It’s really nice with blue milk. Rich and strong, but not so dark that it’s bitter. It’s grown locally, you know. My treat, if you agree."

Obi-Wan was already looking for a discreet place to land. Changing his mind, he got up and put on his armor and his lightsaber. "Why don’t you land this thing?" he suggested, offering her lightsabers.

Asajj nodded her thanks and wore her weapons, then slid into his seat while he took hers. She landed near the cafe, which was in Anchorhead. They’d be able to walk there, but they were far enough away that the ship wouldn’t be seen easily. Disembarking, they moved at a good clip, their arms around each other’s waists. Asajj was pressed against his injured side as they both channeled Force energy to the injuries. Obi-Wan took deep breaths, ensuring his lungs were in working order. He would definitely get professional help, but it didn’t feel like it was an emergency. It felt like the kind of thing that would heal over time with minimal complications. Thank goodness for small miracles.

Obi-Wan found that "cozy" was really an apt description for the small, obscure caffe house. It was intimate, casual, and clearly a place made for couples or small groups to get together and spend time. There were some beings that were alone, reading or writing on flimsy and datapads, happily sipping caffe or tea. There were couples holding hands and sharing food and drinks, even feeding each other. The noise level was low and calm and people tended to keep to themselves. He decided Asajj had chosen well. It wasn’t likely people would know him here or care much about the two of them, though somehow, he thought she’d prefer rougher places. Then again, she had risked quite a lot for his sake just today, so maybe he wasn’t being fair. The cafe was not an upscale place, but it was clean and the proprietor was a kind-looking Twi’lek. Server droids moved around taking orders. The menu was simple, mostly consisting of sandwiches, bagels, and soups.

They found a table in a dim corner, clearly with the same idea of safety. Asajj watched the door while Obi-Wan had a side view of it. He started looking over his menu and decided on a chicken and cheese wrap. Asajj chose steak and cheese on multigrain bread. Going with Asajj’s suggestion, Obi-Wan ordered regular caffe with milk, grabbing some packets of sweetener just in case. He noted Asajj didn’t use sweetener, but got a latte instead of regular caffe. "Nice place here," Obi-Wan commented.

Asajj gave a half-smile. "I thought you might like it. It seemed like your style somehow. Not that I don’t care for it, of course."

"Of course," Obi-Wan winked. "How did you find it?"

"Oh, you know. It’s good to know your surroundings - the terrain, the dangerous places, the safe ones. And one finds a lot of information by walking around rather than flying."

"Very wise," Obi-Wan praised.

Asajj shrugged. "You expected nothing less, I’m sure."

"In this case, you are correct. Though I confess I was surprised you would enjoy a place like this. Thought it might be too…boring," he drawled.

"Well, have to change things up sometimes," Asajj nodded firmly.

At this point, their meals arrived. Obi-Wan carefully sipped his caffe and decided to use the sweetener. Asajj smirked at him, but her mockery was understated and she said nothing, just eyed the open packets pointedly. "Sacrilege, I know. My apologies, my dear," Obi-Wan said good-naturedly.

"Well, for you, I suppose I can be generous," Asajj teased, sipping her own drink as Obi-Wan began eating.

Obi-Wan turned serious and met Asajj’s gaze. "Asajj, I wish to thank you for saving my life earlier. I’m well aware I wouldn’t be alive now without your intervention and the will of the Force. I know we got off to kind of a bad start when you woke me, and I wish it were not so, but it’s too late. If I hurt you in any way, please know it was not intentional."

"Darling, you’re such a bleeding heart," Asajj cackled. "I’m not fragile. But you saved my life, too, remember?"

"The lightsaber? Sure, but you risked your life when you somehow distracted Maul and Savage. And the cockpit was your idea. Unless, you know, I underestimate you and you didn’t need me to serve as a minor diversion for Maul."

"I’m tempted to say that’s why I woke you, because I couldn’t take them both on and you were just a means to an end, but believe it or not, I’d have done it even if I didn’t need you. You make the galaxy a worthwhile place."

Obi-Wan glanced away awkwardly. Then he looked back at her. "Turns out you didn’t need me very much. I played right into Maul’s hands, nearly got myself killed, got a lot of innocent Raydonians killed, and proved to you that I’m weak physically and emotionally. Maybe even mentally. You salvaged my entire mission. Presumably you were after Savage’s bounty. I’m sorry you lost a lot of credits. In short, I wonder if you and I are talking about the same galaxy, because it seems I didn’t have such a good effect on it today."

"Yes, I was after the bounty, but I also wanted to kill him for personal reasons. Not to mention he’s dangerous to others. The devastated village was your fault? I wouldn’t call you weak by any means. I was impressed you were able to move and fight after the beating you took, your ability to banter was still intact, and as far as emotion goes, it’s reasonable that you might feel guilt and anger over the unnecessary deaths of civilians. And I’ll remind you that I might have saved you first, but if you hadn’t gotten the escape pod moving, we’d both be dead now. So really, I think our survival was pretty evenly distributed between us."

"Maul killed those villagers to get me to come to him. No, I’m not being arrogant. There’s a reason his legs are metallic now. We’ve met before, when I was yet a Padawan. Maul hates me because I bisected him thanks to a spontaneous trick that I’m still surprised worked. And I would ever only admit this to you and my late Master, but I came after Maul because the feeling is mutual. There’s a reason revenge isn’t the Jedi way, but this time, I just couldn’t help it. I appreciate your compliments and encouragement. It’s heartening to know I’m still deemed useful."

"More than merely useful, if I’m being totally honest. If you’re going to actually admit to a Dark side, I suppose I can admit to having a Light one. Only you and my late Master would ever get the privilege of knowing it, though. I couldn’t let Savage and Maul kill you. For one, it was a death unworthy of you. One with your talent and combat ability should be given a fair fight. And secondly, the idea of your Light snuffed out was simply too much to take. The galaxy needs more people like you. My Master is lost; I wasn’t going to fail again."

"Your late Master? Clearly, you don’t mean Dooku. And I understand about failing Masters. I sympathize with the wish not to repeat such a performance if it can be helped. I’m sure if you had been in my position, I’d have picked you up and tried to sneak you off the ship. Then we’d likely attempt to make a run for it and I’d aim to shoot them down, though it’s really hard to pilot and shoot simultaneously. You remind me of my old Master in some ways. Perhaps that’s why I’m drawn to you."

"You remind me of mine. No, not Dooku. My old Master was actually a Jedi. It was never a question, in your case, that you’d have tried to save my life. Your attitude in our duels kind of showed it. I always sensed a hesitancy in you, some desire to not go too far. I hated and loved you for that."

Obi-Wan took Asajj’s hand and squeezed it firmly. "I have always been an idealist, my darling. Most times, I also succeed in being an optimist. To kill each other would have meant no more satisfying spars, and I suspect we both lived for them on some level."

"The pleasure was always mine, my dear." She smiled, a smile that showed in her eyes, as she squeezed his hand in return.

Obi-Wan sipped at his caffe and placed a quick kiss to Asajj’s lips before carrying on with his meal. They ate in companionable silence, each thinking they were getting along better than expected considering their choice of careers. Obi-Wan spoke up. "It’s a shame the war’s going on. If it weren’t, I’d just…you know…have to hide my dealings with you from the Council and not the entire Republic."

"Skywalker and his pet, too, likely," Asajj put in, "and speaking of the Republic, you’re not going to report me?"

"Well, true. The Jedi as a whole, probably, but it’s not like you come up often in conversation with them unless it has to do with the war. And it would be poor payment to turn you in after you did me a favor, I think. I know you wouldn’t get a fair trial for war crimes, so it didn’t actually occur to turn you in."

Asajj looked relieved. "I was pretty sure that if I helped you, you’d be properly grateful. Your apprentice, on the other hand, would have offered no such guarantee, so I likely would have left him to his fate. And are you actually suggesting that if the war weren’t going on, you’d meet with me for lunch once in a while?"

"Former apprentice. And yes, I’d consider you a friend, certainly one I’d like to hone my combat skills with and spend time with."

"It’s pretty bad you don’t want to claim Skywalker. And I don’t see why meeting once in a while would be wrong, hypothetically. I mean, yes, my being a war criminal does pose problems, but if that were not a concern, it seems like a reasonable arrangement."

"It was…a difficult apprenticeship. For both of us. I think we’re very different people fundamentally, so we don’t quite relate to each other in comprehensible ways. We had our good moments, but most times, I found him to be contrary and intractable, as though he purposely made things awkward. As for seeing you occasionally, yes, it’s not technically wrong, but it wouldn’t necessarily look good for a Jedi to spend too much time with a woman he has no business with, even if we’re just friends. It would be especially bad if it was known that I went to see you alone and not in public places."

"Mmm." Asajj nodded slowly, understanding. "Can I ask you something?"

"I reserve the right not to answer," Obi-Wan replied carefully.

"That is always your right." Asajj looked intently at Obi-Wan. "Tell me, if you would, why you think being a Jedi and having a lover don’t go together. You made it sound like it is your opinion and not just an official rule handed down from the Order."

Obi-Wan lay his hand over Asajj’s on the table and stroked his beard in contemplation. "Essentially, it comes down to commitment. The Order and a romantic partner both require time, devotion, and sacrifice. People can commit to many things simultaneously, but the more obligations one has, the less time one has for each one. If I had a partner but was still affiliated with the Jedi, I would have to prioritize, and as already stated earlier, I made my choice on which comes first. That being said, the work of a Jedi is fraught with danger and death lurks around many corners. I would not want the guilt of tying someone to me and then being the reason they are distraught. That guilt already exists with Master-Padawan teams, and that’s in service to the Order. No need to create more pain. I’d also feel badly that I cannot be there whenever my partner might want or need me. I think a woman deserves better than to have a partner who is only able to give part of his heart. Any partner of mine would have to accept and understand that I am a Jedi first and a lover second. She would never be number one. She would also have to realize I wouldn’t be around very much. Jedi missions are unpredictable in terms of how long they take. So you see, I wouldn’t feel right doing that to someone unless they fully understand who and what they are getting."

Asajj turned Obi-Wan’s hand over and stroked his palm. "I understand. And not just in theory. I also expect a man to take me as I am. If he can’t handle me, then I don’t need him. If he doesn’t respect me as I deserve, he doesn’t deserve any, either. I’m too selfish to make someone else number one. I would agree to your terms, if such a commitment were on the table."

Obi-Wan sighed regretfully. "It just isn’t possible in the current climate. I think you made me top priority just today, so you aren’t fooling me. I will say this, though. Your pride in yourself is refreshing and your acerbic and intelligent wit and passion for combat is a joy to witness. Whoever ends up with you will be a very lucky man. I mean it." Asajj sensed a heartbreaking sadness from Obi-Wan. "I hope he appreciates you."

Asajj pursed her lips angrily, now hating her circumstances. "Well, I doubt anyone would meet my impossible standards, anyway," she grumbled. "I’m used to being on my own. Not to worry." She signaled a droid and asked for the bill. They’d cleaned their plates and their mugs were likewise empty. They’d even ordered regular caffe, which was free refills. They considered that they had a nice meal and a nice time, but they knew the end was near. Asajj paid and they headed back to their transport.

Stopping outside the entrance, Obi-Wan took Asajj in his arms and kissed her cheeks, her lips, and even her neck, though he debated on that last one. He tried to convey his affection, his attraction, his sorrow, his apology, and his faith in each kiss, as well as his hands that roamed her back. "Thank you, darling," he murmured beside her ear, "Not just for the meal, though that was delicious. You’ve given me memories that I’ll carry with joy. Always."

Asajj had her arms around his shoulders as his were around her waist. "If you cannot or will not have me, no one will. That’s a promise. No one else has the precise mix of attributes that make you stand out from the rest." She sealed her vow with a passionate kiss, which left no doubt of her desire for him - mind, body, and Force signature.

Obi-Wan released Asajj and lead the way into the cockpit, heading for Coruscant once more. The engine whined as Asajj took her seat and they secured themselves. They took off and Obi-Wan counted down to hyperspace. He looked over at Asajj, whose eyes were closed and was radiating discontent. Not that he blamed her, if it was for the same reason he was dreading the return home. He draped an arm around her and touched her with the Force softly, suggesting rest and trying to offer comfort. Surprisingly to him, she didn’t put up a fight but submitted readily to his prompting, her signature relaxing and her hold on the Force slackening. Obi-Wan had an idea and carefully maneuvered Asajj so that her head was in his lap, her back to his stomach. She lay on her side across their seats, her legs dangling over at the knees. Obi-Wan made sure to support her shoulders and neck and looked down at her tenderly, a hand resting on her forehead and then moving to the side of her head, on her scalp. He went into meditation, and his own steady calm seemed to affect Asajj, whose turmoil eased. Obi-Wan ended up dozing lightly. When he woke, Asajj was still fast asleep and Coruscant was very near. Taking the ship off autopilot, he guided it to land in the wilds of the Manarai Mountains. He reasoned they could easily part ways from there without attracting too much fuss.

Obi-Wan cut the engine and glanced around the ship, ensuring they weren’t forgetting anything. He looked down at Asajj again - her slender form, her quiet face, her gentle and lethal hands, her agile legs, and yes, the breasts he wanted to touch again. Sighing forlornly and shaking his head, he finally shook his darling awake gently, but insistently. She moaned in protest and a spike of annoyance. It said just as clearly as words, "Do I have to?"

Obi-Wan considered this. He supposed he could stay there for a little longer. His injuries could wait ten or fifteen minutes more. He sat back and folded his arms, resolved to wait.

Asajj relaxed again, a hand resting on Obi-Wan’s leg. He decided he liked it there. It was a pleasant warmth and weight. But Asajj knew she was really only making it harder for both of them by delaying, so presently, she reluctantly propped herself on an arm and sat up stiffly, yawning and stretching tiredly before angling her body toward him.

Obi-Wan looked sympathetic. "I don’t like it much, either. You don’t look as though you rested well."

"I did," Asajj replied in frustration. "That’s the problem. Despite the awkward position, it was a good place to be. Thank you."

Obi-Wan managed to sound sad and sincere simultaneously. "It was a pleasure, my dear. It truly was."

They looked at each other awkwardly. Neither wanted to be the first to move. Finally, Asajj heaved a heavy sigh and opened the doors, stepping outside. Obi-Wan looked under the seats one last time. Seeing nothing, he quietly exited and took Asajj’s hands. They met each other’s eyes and felt each other’s reluctance to leave. They sought the perfect words that wouldn’t hurt, but could find none. But Asajj couldn’t leave her Knight with nothing. She could only hope Obi-Wan would decipher her meaning. "I consider this day one of the best of my life. All of it. Know that you are strong, desirable, and worth dying for. Keep in mind I don’t say such things to just anyone. And any guilt you carry concerning your treatment of me, drop it. I hope you have no cause to regret our time together, now and in the future. And finally, guard yourself. Because I may not be able to again."

Obi-Wan winced and swallowed hard. The time had truly come for goodbye. And for once, he didn’t know what to say. He kissed Asajj tenderly and pressed his cheek to hers for a long moment. "May you find peace, loyalty, respect, and laughter. I will always remember our impromptu alliance with pride and fondness. Working with you was like working with my beloved Master. I cannot think of any higher comparison, no greater measure of intuition and connection. Walk in Light and remember that I believe in you. May the Force always be with you."

Asajj trembled and turned away. Why was it always this way? She and Obi-Wan embraced a final time before Obi-Wan made his way to the city. Asajj reached out to him in the Force, almost desperately, and Obi-Wan tried to project love and empathy to her. She watched him disappear into trees, but felt his presence for a long time after that. Only after it faded did she allow herself to cry.


End file.
